I love Steven Wright’s line. It has always resonated with me. Leaning back to relax and then suddenly feel like your falling, out of control and then just as unexpectedly, order and balance is restored. Right?
We all are falling. Falling forward. Falling back. Not necessarily descent, ascent is just falling up. You are going in a certain direction faster and faster and there are no brakes, there are no parachutes. Where you are actually headed is really unknown. Yeah, we have hopes and expectations. But we are just careening toward the horizon. Some “happily ever after” mirage perhaps. Maybe an early retirement. A destination that sounds good even to ourselves.
I remember many times being disoriented in the undertow of a wave when I was body surfing not knowing which way is up or down. Guessing where the surface or the sand was. But I digress……
And we don’t know how much time we have to get to the surface to breathe? To get to where we say we want to go? To get to where we really want or need to go? How much more time do we have?
Every time we achieve some equilibrium, something happens to create an imbalance. It throws us off and our momentum and trajectory are interrupted. It destabilizes our homeostasis, and it can upset us because we hate change. Our plans are inconvenienced. Even though we know this is what always happens. That life can’t have ups without the downs.
We think it is bad luck or karma. Or a crisis. We over analyze what is happening. We love to speculate and waste precious time. It delays our ability to accept what has happened, understand it and to respond in the best way we can.
We make things so much worse with our denial, emotions, questions, theories, and resistance.
In Buddhism it is referred to as “attachment” where one defers acceptance by grasping, clinging to what we want, what we had.
Let the good times keep rolling.
The great Buddhist teacher and philosopher Chögyam Trungpa’s teaches us about the profound understanding of the nature of existence and the human experience. The essence of non-attachment and the freedom that comes from letting go of our clinging and grasping tendencies. By releasing our attachment, we open ourselves to a state of freedom and possibility. Instead of attaching onto experiences, emotions, or circumstances, we allow them to arise and pass away naturally. We cultivate a sense of non-resistance and non-judgment, embracing the ever-changing nature of life.
Attachment and non-attachment are super challenging concepts. I have found my awareness, cultivating my awareness about what I am clinging to, grasping at, that are in the end meaningless or irrelevant. Often if I stop, pause, and reflect to notice what is happening and that helps me relax and see things I was not seeing. When I was under the waves seemingly out of control and preparing to panic, I remember trying to relax and not waste my energy and I found the ground and/or surface.
Most of life will happen with or without you.
We often find ourselves attached to ideas, relationships, possessions, outcomes, and even our own identities. We hold on tightly, seeking security, certainty, and control. However, this attachment can lead to suffering and limitation. We become trapped by our desires and fears, constantly seeking something outside ourselves to fulfill us.
Without attachment the perception of the ground disappears. You are just being, falling with the forces of the world around you. Once you eliminate the fear and loathing associated with falling, by appreciating and embracing change.
Our falling becomes part of the way we live.
Without attachment, we discover a profound spaciousness, a deeper connection, and even joy with the present moment. We no longer need to control or manipulate things to fit our expectations. We don’t need to anticipate, project, or sensationalize the troubles that lie ahead.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Mark Twain
Trying not to control things that can’t be controlled, losing sleep and energy and stress over matters that are not of our making. And even if we could have changed them, it’s too late. So how do we move on?
Moving on includes caring about what is. What suffering, challenges and opportunities now exist.
Trying to go into a time machine and engage Sherlock Holmes is so offensive to the present.
Suppose a man is struck by a poisoned arrow and the doctor wishes to take out the arrow immediately. Suppose the man does not want the arrow removed until he knows who shot it, his age, his parents, and why he shot it. What would happen? If he were to wait until all these questions have been answered, the man might die first.
Life is so short. It must not be spent in endless metaphysical speculation that does not bring us any closer to the truth. Thich Nhat Hanh
Speculation about the risk, the troubles, the origins, the motives, and the resistance are the metaphorical grounds that interferes with our natural journey through hills and valleys. Without attachment everything that rises and falls is freed naturally. Because everything is impermanent.
Ultimately, this teaching invites us to cultivate a sense of inner peace and equanimity by opening ourselves to the beauty and wonder of life, embracing whatever arises with a sense of freedom and acceptance. We release the need for things to be a certain way and embrace the ever-changing nature of life. This practice of non-attachment allows us to respond to current circumstances with wisdom and compassion.
Lean back in your chair. Feel the tension in your balance. Relax.
Let yourself fall into the present and that will ground you.
Detach yourself from what happened and what might happen and make something happen.
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