Can we sit tight?

What if we could have the same job for life? Not just the same employer, but the same job, the same title. Sound like a prison sentence? Or does it sound really comforting?

We always want conflicting things. We want things to last, we want things to change. We get tired of the change and we want a predictable world. Where our jobs are stable. We want our boss to always be there if we like her. We want our salaries to go up. We want our responsibilities to be diverse. We want the company to take care of us and not to change anything, especially the benefits or the people we work with. But we want the company to grow without changing. Huh? 

Or we do want everything to keep evolving and always be better?

When we find someone who spent their entire career in a single field, in a single company, in a particular role, it seems nonsensical, illogical, and unnatural. Anachronistic. Nostalgic. And yet we envy them in some way, in a weird way, that they found something that we could not. They were loyal, they were faithful. Even though it may not make sense in an insatiable world where instant gratification, desire for change, and the quest for more is always in our heads. “Let’s do something new.” That “new” is always better than what we have.

And yet, in our life partners, we want stability, we want monogamy.  Now there are people that disagree with this. People that have been married many many times and who want to date multiple people. But most of us want consistent companionship and accompaniment. We want new relationships and to develop relationships that are deeply meaningful that we share for the rest of our lives.

As I said we want conflicting things.

In 1987, I was 32 years old and appointed as the youngest Asst. Vice Chancellor at UCLA. My main duty was to head the UCLA Alumni Association. I was told when I was hired that this position was a “burnout” job and that I might stay 5 years or so. In my mind that seemed right. I thought I was in my prime and I needed to move and move up—whatever that meant. Blind ambition is so intoxicating.

That summer I was invited to Devil’s Head Wisconsin to an invite only annual conference of the top 100 alumni directors in the country. I was told this was an “honor” and that I needed to go. So off I went. I arrived at the opening reception, a bbq around the pool and I could see my new colleagues. But for a couple of women and one other person of color, it looked like a frat party of former athletes. I braced myself and entered the fray. Near the door was a bespeckled professor type who also looked out of place and he introduced himself to me which broke the ice. “Hi I am Doug from the University of North Carolina.” I shook his hand and introduced myself. “Oh you are new guy at UCLA”, he remarked. I nodded. I asked him how long he had been at UNC and he said that this was his 6^th year. I immediately said, “What are you going to do next? How much more is there to do?” Doug looked like a quizzical dog turning his head sideways. And said in his deliberate drawl, “Oh you are from LA and new to this field. You ask me when I am going to leave my job without asking how I am doing, or what I am doing or whether I even like my work.” I was aghast and embarrassed. I asked for a do over. “Can I start this conversation over?” He nodded. I went back out the door and reintroduced myself. “Doug, how are you? Tell me about what you are doing at UNC. And what you love about this work.” Doug smiled wryly as I would see him do hundreds of times. “I am doing well, very well. I have found my life’s work at UNC. This is my dream job and the last job I will have.” I was stunned by this statement. I estimated him to be in his late 30’s.

Last week, I was at Doug’s retirement party at UNC Chapel Hill. Doug completed 41 years in the exact same job. The job he loved and the job he hoped would be his last.

I was sitting with one of my former colleagues from Yale, who asked how many jobs I have had since I left UCLA. I estimated about 10 in four different industries. I felt more like a serial killer than a serial entrepreneur.  He brutally reminded me of my advice to change jobs often to apply for jobs frequently, and my infamous Eight Week Interview Diet post.

I got a little defensive for no reason.

Pursuing your purpose cannot always be found in a single employer.

I returned from my self-absorption to Doug’s special day. I watched my friend, surmount the stage, and be deservedly feted by a very large group of humans who had been positively impacted by his leadership and by his faithfulness. I was so deeply proud of him. And even envious. He had found his life’s work; work he loved and loved him back. Grateful to have witnessed these 36 years and for our friendship. Grateful for his kindness in welcoming me into and through the field of alumni relations.

Doug received the highest honors that the university and the state could bestow. It was a living eulogy. The kind most of us will never have.  

Sitting tight. Being in the same place, at the same job, at the same employer can be the best life.

Now let’s be clear, in this scenario, the employer must endure. The world of work and jobs is brutal and even inhumane. Loyalty and faithfulness are seated at the back of the bus well behind profits and shareholder value. 50% of my former employers no longer exist, swallowed up by the forces of economic entropy and capitalistic cannibalism. So places like the University of North Carolina are categorically different. Founded in 1795, it will be here for another 200 years. Using that durability, Doug leveraged his talent to add to its sustainability and strength. A testament to their symbiosis.

The average tenure of a college president or corporate CEO continues to fall and now is 5-6 years. The average tenure of an employee has been rising to 4 years.

So the moral of this story is not to find your employer for life. The quest is always to find your life’s work. Not just in a job, but in your life! A life that pays the bills and compensates your soul.

In almost every one of my jobs/positions, I did not see the end, know exactly how long I would be there. Every job was my best job, until it wasn’t. The world pushed me sometimes, and a voice called me at other times, and I had to move on.

So we have this interesting battle in our minds about change. And stability. And change seems to win out more often. This world creates so much anxiety about staying still. Loyalty and faithfulness are so undervalued.

Seek a purposeful life that never defers the good we want to do. A life that is loyal and faithful, that yields lifelong relationships. A life that engages our whole selves. A life that finds stability in change.

Thanks Doug, for being a great model for a life well lived—and so much more to give.