Blog

Writing is part of my meditative process to clarify my thoughts, to align my actions and to focus on my purpose. I write about my emotions, my shortcomings, and my ideas for a better world through poetry, prose, and what I call rantifestos every day, some of which I post here on my blog and on social media. I share them to help others move along their paths to live and lead with compassion.

What will make you happy

What will make you happy? And when will you be happy?

I ask these questions in my workshops. To some these are easy questions. The answers just pop into their heads. To others these are confounding questions. A confusing kaleidoscope of words and images overwhelm their minds.

The point I try to make is that “happiness”, at least the western notion of happiness, is ephemeral and insufficient. That while this goal may swirl in our little heads it is not the end we want.

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Personal renewable energy plan

From the root vocare—to be called or a calling. Your vocation is your work, your day job that YOU called, your external calling. You are being defined by this work whether you like it or not. It is the way you are making a living, growing, and building a life. Your vocation may not be as serious as you hope it will be.

We need an avocation too! Most people miss this. Avocation, often the stepchild to vocation, is the internal calling, the calling from within. Some people mistakenly think an avocation is a “hobby.”

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Special Effects of Being

All that you touch you change
and all that you change,
changes you. 
Octavia Butler

I’m inspired by the mesmerizing effects of the integration of science and spirituality that is revealing so many truths. This post may require a small micro dose of indulgence and patience to connect the dots. Observe whether what I wrote is altered by your interpretation. 

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Lifecycle of Friends

Friendship is the hardest thing
in the world to explain.
It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned
the meaning of friendship,
you really haven’t learned anything. 
 Muhammad Ali

We all know the dreaded words, words that were uttered to me 😊, “Can’t we just be good friends?” 

But these are words I crave to hear now! 

Youthful exuberance, animalistic needs, reckless ambition, and of course our insatiable egos pushed and push many people away from us. People who could be great friends.

And through our wit and charm and really, sheer luck, you established and maintained a cadre of comrades.  
Seems like my circle of good friends is mirroring my life. It is declining to its essence. The constellation of shiny friendships which once seemed infinite like the universe is becoming a smaller system of souls whose gravitational pull keeps me together. 

I am filled with gratitude but wonder where it is going and why.

I just want good friends.

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The Regret Matrix

We all live in what I call the regret matrix. A parallel universe of existing and former regrets that can swirl in and out of your consciousness. Sometimes you visit it and sometimes it visits you. Something reminds you of a moment that was not your best or even something you have been trying to forget. Out of nowhere a feeling of great loss and emptiness comes over you like a ghost visiting you with a regret or two. Parents are frequent visitors to the matrix of regrets. Parents always teeter on the edge of guilt across the street from regret. So many things that they could have done, things they should have done in hindsight.

But regrets are not all bad. They are benchmarks that you have carved in your timeline. You know why they are there. They remind us of our darker moments and can push us to be a better human.

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Is that My Smile?

As we are emerging from the isolation of the pandemic we are starting to come to grips with our ability to socialize, to present ourselves in real face to face situations. We are pretty rusty! We all need a tune-up. Amazing what we have forgotten or don’t want to remember.

“Business casual”. Yeah your cutoffs and T-shirts are going to have to make way for whatever fits or a whole new wardrobe.

I think most of us can cleanup pretty well to comply with the dress codes.

But your social graces may need a real honest to goodness makeover!

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How Humility Flourishes

When we pursue something because it makes us feel and look virtuous, we lose the virtue. Humility is not an effort or mindset. It is like a beautiful flower that just grows and blooms without regard to others expectations. It just is. But pride can be pretentious, and ego can be excessive. So humility really cannot be considered a virtue. Humility is being yourself as part of the world. The need and pursuit of credit is the antithesis of humility.

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Accidental Mentoring

The worst way to get a mentor is to go find one.
The best way is to see the one that’s already there.
Jeff Goins

When we look for mentoring in a single person, it’s like going to library wanting knowledge and looking for a single book of answers.

You looking for a mentor? A better mentor? You need one!
Why? What do you need?

Answers to the secrets of life. It doesn’t work that way.

You need to surround yourself with and seek truth tellers versus cheerleaders.

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Who Can We Forgive?

I would like to share with you two simple truths: there is nothing that cannot be forgiven,
and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness.
Desmond Tutu

That starts with you. Forgive yourself! Stop beating yourself up for things you did and didn’t do. Let go of the reins of self-hatred, self-sabotage.

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What’s Your Story?

You Belong.
You Matter.
Let’s Help Each Other.

Words to say to yourself. Words to say to others. Words to live by and love by. I use this phrase in nearly every course I teach, every workshop I lead. And I have the participants say it to each other. It softens the moment, it opens the hearts, it creates a space of compassion and connection.

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Additional Tools & Resources

Self-Assessment Tools

Books & Stories

Helpful Videos

Useful Websites

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