Unfulfilled wishes

Everyone you know has an unfulfilled wish.

John E. Kobara 

Wishes made, from our childhood, a lifetime of those blown out birthday candles, and in those delightful quiet moments of self indulgence. Wishes are not for material things, they are the comfort food of your daydream mind. The word wish is so much simpler, achievable and innocent than a dream or a passion. Words that can generate fear and fumbling from so many I have encountered. A wish is innocuously special.  And yet an unfulfilled wish and especially an unspoken secret wish can turn into regret tumors. –Something one promises oneself, hopes for and thinks about but never gets around to. Anything from playing the piano, seeing the Mona Lisa, tracing your family tree……But in the hurricane of life, our wishes are often placed in a time capsule that we will open in a mythical period of our lives when we have more time. 

Wishes are the collateral damage from our Hunger Games pursuit of happiness. I have learned that knowing and pursuing the unfulfilled wishes of others is a powerful way to connect with people you think you know and care about. Sharing a wish gives it the oxygen it craves when it is freed from its imprisonment. Be gentle when you hear the wish. It is usually something that appears so simple, so easily accomplished, so DIY–it is not what you think it is. The difference between what a 10 year wishes for and what a 45 year wants is night and day. The kid wants cleaner bathrooms at school, taking care of the planet or to house all of the homeless. The beleaguered adult wants nostalgia and the chance to play. My experience is kids act like grownups and adults want to be kids. But all wishes are precious cargo. When someone shares a wish. Don’t try to grant it, fix it, judge it and never dismiss it! Stop, listen and notice and put on your curiosity cap. Why do you wish for that? And then start to work together to make it happen. Share your wish and find out what others wish for.

I asked my Mom if she had a wish. She told me nobody had ever asked her that. She then revealed that she wanted to go to Santa Fe New Mexico. That my father did not want to go and that she might not ever get there. So my siblings and I sponsored her trip. This is my sister Tomi with my mom in Taos after they spent a week in Santa Fe. My mother never wanted anything and never asked for anything. But she had a little secret wish that came true!

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