We have these seeds within us. These blessings that want to bud and bloom. But our specialness and our loveliness can get suppressed by the weight of the world.

We need help to be ourselves. To see ourselves. To receive the permission and the recognition that our dream is worth pursuing. That being who we are, free from the resistance of what others want from us.

Surrounded by doubters, critics, and naysayers we forget our dream, what may be aching inside us. We want to be liked and to be like others. Our blessings, our specialness and our loveliness can wilt and fade.

We can feel we don’t belong and that we are frauds—so we fake it til we make it.
We tow the line, we follow suit, we conform and contort ourselves to be accepted.

But deep inside there is a voice and a force that defines us.

Sometimes it is necessary to reteach ourselves who we are. We need to pull ourselves out of the whirlpool of distraction.

We need to give people around us hints, clues, and even reveals of what buds have not opened. What thoughts have not sprouted. What dreams have not been lived.

Clarity and urgency will get attention, perhaps even ours.

We need to help the truth tellers, who care about us, to help us bless ourselves.

Call it mentoring. Call it self-reflection. Call it self-help. Call it self-blessing.  

Seek and give compassionate feedback. Seek and give mentoring. Seek and give the truth.

Listen to what is said and what our heart is saying.

In Tender Bar, a good little film about a fatherless boy who dreams of being a writer, there is this great scene that made me laugh out loud. The protagonist named JR is a graduate of Yale and has a job as a cub reporter at the NY Times. He is told he is not qualified to become a full reporter and he goes to sleep unsettled and has a nightmare. He is confronted by his 9-year-old self who slaps his older self on the head and says. “Wake the fuck up!”  The younger JR intensely says, “I thought you’re going to be a writer. You’re not. I think you should go back to sleep. Wake up in 20 years and tell everybody how good you could have been.”
The older JR wakes up with a start from his nightmare realizing his dream is slipping away.  

Imagine if your 9-year-old self slapped you on the head to ask what you are doing with your life and what happened to the dreams you had?!!!

We need to be held accountable for what we want to be.

I listened to a great podcast interview between Tim Ferris and Bobby Hundreds. Bobby told a story about his pursuit of a law degree to please his parents while he developed his art and clothing ideas. His legal internship supervisor named Abe Edelman had lunch with Bobby almost every day. They talked and shared their ideas. They cared about one another. When Bobby was finishing his assignment with Abe, he told Bobby he would be a great success as a lawyer.–That he would be wealthy and be popular with women. Bobby was ecstatic. Then Abe put his proverbial hand on Bobby’s brow, and told him not to be a lawyer but to pursue his art and entrepreneurial ideas. Bobby was shocked. Abe told him to follow his dreams and his energy. That Bobby’s passion was so powerful that he had to go with that! Bobby quietly finished law school and then became an iconic artist, bestselling author, an activist, and the founder of super popular street wear that bears his name.

Outsiders see what lights you up, what energizes you. If you are open to it, they will give you their advice to help you see yourself.  
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being. Hafiz

I have had many moments of truth that were activated by the observant and kind people around me. They told me the truth, they saw me, and advised me to be true to myself. The most prominent moment was with my college mentor who had become an elected official. I went to him for advice on which of two great jobs I should take. I was torn between the impressive options of working for one of two media giants. Yet, I was also trying to show my mentor I was doing well. But my little ego trip was brought to its knees by his rejection of either choice for me. I can still remember his words, “Why would you pursue these jobs that have nothing to do with who you are? You need to be in education and help youth. That’s who you are. You want my advice, get a plan C,  find another job.” I left his office angry. I went home and after I calmed down, I knew he spoke the truth. I was following someone else’s path, a path others wanted, a path driven by status with no reflection of my purpose. I ended up pursuing my interests in education and in youth development and it changed the course of my life.

There are so many resources that can help you pursue a life that is driven by your values, your interests and your dreams.

Your growing self-awareness, humility and courage can assist you in self-mentoring and self-blessing. You become open to the truths that are present and emerging that annoyingly raisie their lovely heads. You can touch your own brow, reteach yourself your loveliness and be energized by who you really are. Then there is the very real chance that you can alter your path, your mindset, your commitment to realign with your true self.

Hearing it from yourself, from others, from caring mentors will confirm what you are becoming aware of or already know well.

Only you really know yourself.

A great mentor knows us too. Knows our blessings. The true mentor’s currency and influence are the truth. They are driven by great compassion and empathy. They can see how we are drifting or recklessly driving away from our destiny. They may gently or not so gently use their words to energize our inner loveliness so we can blossom and stand tall.

We have an infinite number of flowers within us. When we see the loveliness within ourselves and within others, let us be compassionate and courageous. Let us be understanding and urgent. To generate more self-blessings and blessings for all.