| It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it. Life is long if you know how to use it. Seneca ~50 AD |
| So many of life’s moments can subtly or abruptly remind us of our age and our aging. Not even talking about the barrage of advertising aimed at our sags, aches, hair loss and lack of testosterone! General news about the passing of our era’s heroes, movie stars, and rock idols generate another wave of thoughts. My 50th high school reunion! Our kids, or kids we know, getting old. All the telltale signs that our daylight is shortening. My younger brother blurted out over dinner, “How many years do you think we have left? 17?” Such a specific number! He had done some mortality math or something. I recoiled, “If we are lucky. And I hope most of those are not in a wheelchair with a bedpan!” None of us want to have prolonged illnesses, pain and the loss of our minds. Most say we want to go real quick. Yet, few of us are also prepared for no goodbyes. That is one of the great sicknesses of our culture, our fear and lack of preparation for death. I just had dinner with a friend of mine and her daughter. Her daughter said she was celebrating her 6th anniversary year of work. I immediately said, “Happy 2000 days of work!” (Technically 2190 days of being employed, but you are missing the point  ) She immediately frowned and said, “You are making me feel old!” Imagine if I used hours .Days and hours pass before we knew it was passing. It flies and flies faster, especially when we are not paying attention. It is not logical it is inexorable. It can give us pride or despair. It can conjure regret or anticipation. We all want to do more and to be busy and that mindset conspires to accelerate our lives. Our little dreams can get trampled by our congested schedules of transactions and obligations. Begging the question—What for? We experience tragedy and it can awaken and energize our dream factories. But do we change anything? Again, we want conflicting things: An whirlwind of experiences and the time to savor them. All the while thinking we have endless tomorrows. I have been in a rush my whole life and been applying the brakes for the last 10 years. Life has slowed down. And now the shortness of my life is very real. I have been interviewing teens about their perspectives of time, aging and death for a book project. Hearing the unfiltered and unspoiled voices of the young is refreshing. Just to listen non-judgmentally and to withhold the brutal truths that will be encountered. I asked, “How long will you live?” The average was 100 years! To the young, immortality and infinity seem real. We all can recall some semblance of this. But one young man, was a bit more reflective. He said, “I love my life and who I am, what I am doing and what I want to do. 15 wonderful years. I am really hoping to fully experience my 16th.” He was neither somber or morose. He was genuinely grateful for the present. He really took a moment to reflect. He was not taking anything for granted.It gave me pause. Some small number of us will hit the century mark. Count me out. Don’t get me wrong, I want to live. But the quantity of years will never make up for quality. When I was a counselor for incarcerated young men in maximum security institutions, I remember one of the participants in my program say, “I’m so short. I am a short man. SHORT!” Like an idiot and a straight man out of casting I said, “You’re 6’4”. You aren’t short. I’m short.” He smiled, “And said, “No, no, no. I am super short. I am getting out in 2 weeks! Then he continued his exclamations while dancing down the hall, “I am so short I could swing my legs sitting on the edge of a nickel. I’m so short a cockroach could vomit on me. I’m so short…..” I almost split a gut I laughed so hard. I guess I am short and short. 🙂 But I do not feel short on opportunity. Or short on time. To make choices, to cherish what I have and to challenge myself to be a better human. How short are we? How short are you? We don’t have any idea when the alarm will sound, the lights go out and the ticket expires. No way to know. 17 years? Live to 100? Make more money? Become happier? How much longer will we wait to pursue a more meaningful life? Are we wasting time on heedless luxury or on activity that does no good? I am committed to keep living my short life in long and glorious moments. Life is not short, but we do make it so. As that wise 15-year-old pondered—Can we savor this next year like it might be our last? |
