Writing is part of my meditative process to clarify my thoughts, to align my actions and to focus on my purpose. I write about my emotions, my shortcomings, and my ideas for a better world through poetry, prose, and what I call rantifestos every day, some of which I post here on my blog and on social media. I share them to help others move along their paths to live and lead with compassion.
All that you touch you change
and all that you change,
changes you.
Octavia Butler
I’m inspired by the mesmerizing effects of the integration of science and spirituality that is revealing so many truths. This post may require a small micro dose of indulgence and patience to connect the dots. Observe whether what I wrote is altered by your interpretation.
Friendship is the hardest thing
in the world to explain.
It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned
the meaning of friendship,
you really haven’t learned anything.
Muhammad Ali
We all know the dreaded words, words that were uttered to me 😊, “Can’t we just be good friends?”
But these are words I crave to hear now!
Youthful exuberance, animalistic needs, reckless ambition, and of course our insatiable egos pushed and push many people away from us. People who could be great friends.
And through our wit and charm and really, sheer luck, you established and maintained a cadre of comrades.
Seems like my circle of good friends is mirroring my life. It is declining to its essence. The constellation of shiny friendships which once seemed infinite like the universe is becoming a smaller system of souls whose gravitational pull keeps me together.
I am filled with gratitude but wonder where it is going and why.
I just want good friends.
We all live in what I call the regret matrix. A parallel universe of existing and former regrets that can swirl in and out of your consciousness. Sometimes you visit it and sometimes it visits you. Something reminds you of a moment that was not your best or even something you have been trying to forget. Out of nowhere a feeling of great loss and emptiness comes over you like a ghost visiting you with a regret or two. Parents are frequent visitors to the matrix of regrets. Parents always teeter on the edge of guilt across the street from regret. So many things that they could have done, things they should have done in hindsight.
But regrets are not all bad. They are benchmarks that you have carved in your timeline. You know why they are there. They remind us of our darker moments and can push us to be a better human.
We are all trying to solve problems, and the negative lens dominates. We see the negative and then we’re going to fix it. If we have visions of something more positive, we get criticized for blue sky ideals. We have to be problem solvers. We have to be fixers. We adopt a mindset that characterizes things in the most negative light –so that when we fix it–the bigger difference we can make. We always seem to be incented for short term wins over longer term successes.
I would like to share with you two simple truths: there is nothing that cannot be forgiven,
and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness.
Desmond Tutu
That starts with you. Forgive yourself! Stop beating yourself up for things you did and didn’t do. Let go of the reins of self-hatred, self-sabotage.
You Belong.
You Matter.
Let’s Help Each Other.
Words to say to yourself. Words to say to others. Words to live by and love by. I use this phrase in nearly every course I teach, every workshop I lead. And I have the participants say it to each other. It softens the moment, it opens the hearts, it creates a space of compassion and connection.
Some people were born on third base
and go through life thinking
they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer
Not only was he born on third base, never held a bat, his dad owns the stadium and the team–the Meritocracy Mets! 😊
We all might know some trust fund babies. Or people who have been given everything their entire lives. I’ve been to weddings that are corporate mergers and worked with people who are amongst the most privileged humans on the planet. And every one of them has a story about their hero’s journey of slaying the dragons, overcoming the odds and the work ethic it took to succeed. It is human nature for all of us to spin a story, an amazing self-congratulatory, self-preservation story about what “I did” to earn, and deserve “my success”, no matter how much privilege we’ve enjoyed. And I have also worked and know those who have come from virtually nothing and suffered through real hardship to claw their way to the top. These are amazing stories that truly come from lived experiences that can inspire and give hope to others. We can fall in love with these stories, wonderful versions of the American Dream.
We are drowning in a sea of madness. The madness in our acceptance of our inferior lives. The madness of waiting for something, hoping for something, and allowing fear and practicality to domesticate our dreams. We are addicted to madness. Until we are not.
There is a strange and unprecedented tsunami of change in the world of work: The Great Resignation.
Finding purpose is not some fantasy Mother Teresa job. It does not necessarily require major changes in one’s life. It can be applied by anyone in any stage of their life. Living with purpose is a lens, an intention to transcend the mindless transactions and to be mindful of how your compassion for others is being upheld in even the most mundane tasks. How what you are doing benefits others, beyond oneself, is always present.
We have been in isolation, wearing masks, social distancing, vaccinations, zooming etc. For those of us not in denial, we realize most of this will not change. That we are forever changed by these experiences and that our future health and well-being depends on our adaptability not our non-sensical “return to normal” and our clinging to nostalgia.
Many of us are navigating this crazy world the best as we can. Yet many others are hiding beneath the sheets of “gratitude” and “privilege” of their COVID bed. Using the real uncertainty, anxiety, and health crises of this time as lame excuses for not moving forward with their lives.
Stop blaming COVID for your pre-COVID career co-morbidities– your laziness, your procrastination and deferral of the pursuit of a life that is true to yourself.
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