Blog

Writing is part of my meditative process to clarify my thoughts, to align my actions and to focus on my purpose. I write about my emotions, my shortcomings, and my ideas for a better world through poetry, prose, and what I call rantifestos every day, some of which I post here on my blog and on social media. I share them to help others move along their paths to live and lead with compassion.

What’s Your Story?

You Belong.
You Matter.
Let’s Help Each Other.

Words to say to yourself. Words to say to others. Words to live by and love by. I use this phrase in nearly every course I teach, every workshop I lead. And I have the participants say it to each other. It softens the moment, it opens the hearts, it creates a space of compassion and connection.

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The Weaponized American Dream

Some people were born on third base
and go through life thinking
they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer

Not only was he born on third base, never held a bat, his dad owns the stadium and the team–the Meritocracy Mets! 😊

We all might know some trust fund babies. Or people who have been given everything their entire lives. I’ve been to weddings that are corporate mergers and worked with people who are amongst the most privileged humans on the planet. And every one of them has a story about their hero’s journey of slaying the dragons, overcoming the odds and the work ethic it took to succeed. It is human nature for all of us to spin a story, an amazing self-congratulatory, self-preservation story about what “I did” to earn, and deserve “my success”, no matter how much privilege we’ve enjoyed. And I have also worked and know those who have come from virtually nothing and suffered through real hardship to claw their way to the top. These are amazing stories that truly come from lived experiences that can inspire and give hope to others. We can fall in love with these stories, wonderful versions of the American Dream.

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The Greatest Resignation

We are drowning in a sea of madness. The madness in our acceptance of our inferior lives. The madness of waiting for something, hoping for something, and allowing fear and practicality to domesticate our dreams. We are addicted to madness. Until we are not. 

There is a strange and unprecedented tsunami of change in the world of work: The Great Resignation.

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On Purpose

Finding purpose is not some fantasy Mother Teresa job. It does not necessarily require major changes in one’s life. It can be applied by anyone in any stage of their life. Living with purpose is a lens, an intention to transcend the mindless transactions and to be mindful of how your compassion for others is being upheld in even the most mundane tasks. How what you are doing benefits others, beyond oneself, is always present.

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Stop Blaming COVID!

We have been in isolation, wearing masks, social distancing, vaccinations, zooming etc. For those of us not in denial, we realize most of this will not change. That we are forever changed by these experiences and that our future health and well-being depends on our adaptability not our non-sensical “return to normal” and our clinging to nostalgia.

Many of us are navigating this crazy world the best as we can. Yet many others are hiding beneath the sheets of “gratitude” and “privilege” of their COVID bed. Using the real uncertainty, anxiety, and health crises of this time as lame excuses for not moving forward with their lives.

Stop blaming COVID for your pre-COVID career co-morbidities– your laziness, your procrastination and deferral of the pursuit of a life that is true to yourself.

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Boats, Buses, Planes—Unintended swimming lessons

‘I have been thrown off a lot of boats, thrown under buses and out of windows. No one was trying to teach me how to fly, to learn bus maintenance, or experience deep sea diving.

For those of us who have been fired, laid off, forced to leave, we know about unintended swimming lessons.

The true life of the bowl began the moment it was dropped. –Ancient Kintsugi quote

Every unexpected, every frightening experience can reveal an opportunity, if we don’t panic, we don’t resist and we try to embrace the reality.

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Weaving a Well-Lopsided Tapestry

Nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved ‘work-life balance,’ whatever that might be, and you certainly won’t get there by copying the ‘six things successful people do before 7 a.m.’
Oliver Burkeman

If you think about it, “work-life balance” is a illogical, irrational and oxy-moronic goal. Balance is about stability AND stasis. Think about it, you don’t want stability! You want dynamic change. Yes growth, but diversity. You want to be surprised with the magic of wonder. Our sense of time is a snapshot that is obsolete once the photo is taken. Life evolves, problems solve themselves, new interests arise, discoveries are made, and new challenges emerge. So balance the past? Crazy.

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Questions don’t make you curious

A friend of mind equates having questions to being curious. We all have questions, but most of ask them like a lawyer at a deposition—“Never ask a question if you do not know the answer.” We spend so much time avoiding the “stupid question”, nodding our heads when we have no clue. As we age and our ego dominates, we prefer to look smart than learn anything. Questions do not make you curious.

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Trickle Down Mental Health

We live in a society where our health is an afterthought. We subscribe to a trickle-down theory for our well-being. We are told to fit in, to conform, to assimilate, and to get along. This crazy tension between these pressures and who we are, want to be and are meant to be, undermines our well-being. So much of our society tries to push us into molds behind the façade of independence and individuality. As the old Asian proverb espoused, “The nail that sticks up will be hammered down.” Expectations to go to college, buy a big house, nice car, get promoted, buy more things, the kids go to college and try to outdo their parents and the vicious cycle continues. The stock market soars, GDP rises but we feel like we have more debt than dreams. A recent study of adolescents showed that suppressed “meaning” and “dreams” were the sources of their anxiety. Can you hear the hammers? 

So much of our society operates from a trickle-down mentality.

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Driving with the Brakes on Uphill

I have no brakes on
…analysis is for those
who are paralyzed by life.
Anais Nin

A scary thought: Do people live their lives the way they drive? I wonder sometimes. Having taken a basic course on the Sebring racetrack, you learn the techniques to be efficient and fast. When to go slow, when to hit the gas and when to brake. Kinda like life. As I have been traversing mountains of late, I have noticed how some drivers brake up hill. Constant application of the brakes while going up the mountain. Used to bother me but now it fascinates me. How fear, lack of competence, and perhaps unfamiliarity can trigger such non-intuitive living, I mean driving.

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