I guess we are all burned out. It is the existential question that has plagued us since the dawn of time. But today, the growing self-care industrial complex is now adding to our anxiety and stress under the Rose Parade theme of “Calm yourself down, everything’s going to be okay”. I know this is an awkward New Year’s banner! Pushing us to consume our way to our best selves. The bazaar of self-care life hacks, self-help, virtual therapy, sound baths, calming practices, cults of personalities, not to mention the meds, pummel us with options to numb us. Temporary fixes to forget about the larger life structures and systems that are domesticating our true selves and interests.
Burnout is an official condition. The term came into vogue 50 years ago.

Burnout is characterized by a high degree of emotional exhaustion and depersonalization (i.e., cynicism) and a low sense of personal accomplishment at work. Health and Human Services definition

By the World Health Organization (WHO): …feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job. Sources of stress that have not been managed.

WHO confusingly classified burnout as a “disease” but not a medical condition. Ostensibly to avoid the onslaught of insurance claims. They clarified this ruling with—Burnout is an occupational phenomenon, not a medical condition…can be a reason to seek health services but not as an illness.

WTF?

While it is good to lay blame on the “work” and not the “workers”. Burnout on the job emerges in the context of our holistic lives.

Doctors and nurses have long diagnosed many of our sickest patients with “demoralization syndrome,” a condition commonly associated with terminal illness that’s characterized by a sense of helplessness and loss of purpose. But the burnout rhetoric misses the larger issue in this case: What’s burning out health care workers is less the grueling conditions we practice under, ‌and more our dwindling faith in the systems for which we work. Without the purpose of making a difference, the forces of burnout have an advantage. NYT  2.5.23

One of the frustrating things about Western medicine is the focus on symptoms. To reverse engineer to the cause. To understand an entire body and mind is challenging by reading just some vital signs or some indicators. We know that one size can’t fit anyone but the so-called average person–someone we are not like and don’t want to be. But the fact is, we literally and figuratively buy average solutions to symptoms and not the root causes.

“ ….understanding that we don’t live in a meritocracy in America, white supremacy, and, what I’ve been learning to call it, greedy capitalism, makes us all feel like we should be able to wellness our way into feeling better. But what we need is things like paid parental leave, affordable, equitable health insurance, et cetera. So how do you find a way to bring all those people into a framework that is equitable and accessible?” Pooja Lakshmin

The basic assumptions about the system, the environment, and our own capabilities that we choose to live in and accept. Blindly, and deafly influence the way we treat ourselves and others.

wellness our way into feeling better?

Look self-care life hacks can be very effective. Calming activities work. Certain meds can do wonders. Just self-care to create space and time to regulate stress and the pain in trying to make the receding financial, moral, and human ends make their acquaintance can be inadequate.

We all put on our helmets and hazmat suits and just go into the world of work and endure!

The symptoms are far greater than the sum of the life hacks and the micro dosages of “self-care”. We have to start to deal with the systems, confronting the personal sources of the problems.
We need help figuring out how to change things.

There is an inside outside systems challenge.

What do You really want?
What social structures are hurting many, if not all of us?
What macro assumptions have we made that are wrong?

The recent strikes and the calls for equitable compensation, working conditions, and benefits are symptoms of much larger issues. Regardless of where you stand, our system has flaws and cracks that are so inequitable. My conversations with my European colleagues are always amusing when they ask me about working hours, time off and healthcare. They are aghast at what we do and what we put up with.

With all of it pluses, the American system of work is broken. Whether you like it or not, this is the system. And if you are a leader of an organization, if you are a voter, or you are an activist, you have the chance to address some of these issues in your workplaces. In my consultancies, I am stunned by the failure to address the issues that can be changed. But I digress.

I want to get back to you/us. What can we do as individuals to address our burnout?

What do we want? Not what we don’t want and what we don’t like.

You are unique. The way you view the world. The management of the suffering you have been given and digested is personal. The talents you can bring to the benefit of others. You need a custom solution.

I remember trying to evaluate my “burnout” on multiple occasions. Yes, the job had stressors, expectations, and points of friction—but that’s a job in the world of work. I always found work with a mission and a boss I was aligned with. That was hard to do! Again, purpose in one’s life is the greatest antidote.
I had to step back and understand the unintended consequences for my life, my family relationships, my expectations as a parent, and as a husband. Meditation or setting boundaries were going to be insufficient. There were structural and systemic issues that I had to address. That started with commute time, my sleep schedule, exercise, and non-work passion projects.

What happened is I re-prioritized my home life and I needed to be more accessible and more proximate to my family. I had to become a morning person instead of a night person to sync up with the needs of my kids. I made a commitment to regular exercise to manage my aggressions. And re-committed myself to writing and speaking. Yes, there were elements of “self-care”, but all of this was done to change the structure I had built. All of this led to different career choices and a new life portfolio that prominently included my passion project side hustles.
Exercise, writing, and my greater sense of balance with my family helped me manage burnout.

More vacation days, or walks during the workday, or not looking at emails on the weekend were not the solutions.

We must confront structural questions:
– What do I want?
– How do I regain a sense of purpose?
– What is not working?
– What is deeply satisfying and dissatisfying in my life
– What could I do/sacrifice without blaming anyone else?
– How can I re-energize my life portfolio of my passions?

Look, self-care is crucial. Life hacks are good for micro improvements. We need to take care of ourselves and each other. We need to create and advocate for better work cultures. But we can’t always wellness our way out of the system and structures we have created and accepted.