The astonishing fire of your own being


I wish I could show you
when you are lonely or in darkness
the astonishing light,
the astonishing fire of your own being.


In my business you see “potential” everywhere in everyone. It makes you crazy when people and organizations can’t fully see what is possible—the great fire of their being!

We are told to send out a search party to find our lost soul.

At first this can seem intuitive and helpful.

Like a big scavenger hunt. Hiding inside you somewhere is your passion, your purpose, your special powers……. Buried beneath the layers of expectations, below the materialistic impulses, down under the desire to meet and exceed what everyone else wants you to be, are your God-given talents.

Even Google started a program, and a book called “Search inside Yourself”.

You are a fluid and developing being. Who has been bestowed great gifts. One of the biggest challenges that we face is our own inability to see the truth. See our own truth. We would not recognize ourselves if we ran into ourselves on the street. Our senses have been impugned by the stories we tell ourselves. The stories of what we are and what we are not. Stories we have adopted and have been thrust upon us. We have ingested a set of narcotic narratives that desensitize our senses. These are not harmful drugs they are just sugar pills of placebic lenses that change our body chemistry and our minds. (Check out the milkshake study below) We become the negative stories we have been told and certainly the ones we tell ourselves. Should give us pause about the stories that we tell our kids—

You’re not good at math. You can’t draw. Do something practical with your life. You’re not a good public speaker. You’re ugly. You are a fake. Stop chasing these crazy dreams. Can’t you be like everybody else?!

There are layers and layers of these sedimentary stories that compress the light out of our uniqueness.

The search process is not that simple Boolean search to get a good search result. The search within is an archeological dig, it requires dusting off stuff, artifacts, antiquities. It’s understanding history but it is putting the present into context. It is the process of discovery, learning and understanding.

In addition, the societal machine has stamped us into conforming to some regression to the mean. Averaging our lives into predictability and uniformity. Our uniqueness is pasteurized and homogenized into a very wholesome bottle of milkiness.  

This is not the easy thing to do. And from what I can tell, most people opt out of this search. The river of life overpowers their chances to camp on the shorelines or to visit any reflecting ponds.

We spend more time searching for our next shoes, or a decent tv series or a good restaurant to try than we do in searching inside ourselves.

In the end it is not really about finding yourself as much as it is allowing yourself to be and become. To pay attention to the signs of you that emerge from behind the curtain of conformity. To have intention,  to make choices that are based on your best self. Your true inclinations. There is no treasure map or blueprint buried deep within you. But rather, your true self is a process of being created. It’s about exercising your freedom and understanding what you can and can’t choose and looking for where you might be able to push back against your choices and shaping your existence—your essence.

This essence, your essence, is a beautiful combination platter of your gifts and talents and the you that is evolving and  developing.

For you are unique. You see the world like no one else. You hear, smell, and taste things differently.

What do you do with the clues? The great clues of your greatness. The positive stories we know are true.
Those moments when you are fully engaged with what you are doing. Those moments of flow and joy and awe that recur and feel like you!
You like certain tasks, you crave certain experiences, your uniqueness manifests itself all of the time.  
How are you taking note of these moments. Are you recording them, writing them down? And sharing them?

Strengths are what give you strength. Weaknesses are what make you weak.

That’s why I liked Strength Finder when it was introduced. That’s why I subscribe to the tenets of Positive Psychology. How do we expand, broaden, enhance what energizes you? The positives. In every facet of your life, in work and play.

To move away from the drumbeat of the negative narratives.

How do we see ourselves? We need a set of real mirrors.

When is the last time you took a formal self-assessment? Such as a Birkman, Myers Briggs, Disc, Strength Finder etc?

Most of you have done this in a prior version of yourself. This is a different time, you see things differently now.

Marcus Buckingham, who developed the Strength Finder has made this psychometric assessment free called Standout. It is really good. And will confirm or reveal more clues about your strengths and the positives that drive you.

Standout (CLICK)
This will take about 30 minutes. It can animate your search.

I wish we could just Google what we want and what’s inside us? But we can’t. You need to lead your own search party, start your own search process and share it, test it and refine it with others.

Like most of life, it is a contact sport and a team sport.

And it takes real sustained effort. 

Are you checking in with trusted mentors or advisors about what you have learned and what they see?

Show them your Standout report and just listen.
We only see ourselves in collaboration with other people, and other people reflect parts of our being back to us. We can only really see ourselves animated by the presence of others. And we learn about our existence, about who we really are through our interactions with them.

For the search within is not a solo exploration. It is a search party! It is a group activity to celebrate the findings.

I wish you could see the potential that lies waiting for your permission to show itself. I wish you could see what others see.

The remarkable reservoir of untapped, untamed, and unused potential within you.

They see it in your eyes and in your body language. The weight of indifference and disengagement. The burden of carrying the dreams of others. The strength and energy that shines through your eyes and lies in wait.

When will you let go of the stories of caution, pragmatism, the shackles of expectations that are misaligned with your spirit?

How will you appreciate the uniqueness of you? The uniqueness of others. The thoughts the feelings, the instincts, the intuition that only you have?

When will you ask for help?

Let the search party begin!

The Milkshake study. The story you tell yourself, even if it is untrue, changes your mind and your body! 

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