All of us came from the same place. Our ancestry has a common origin. Part of our shared heritage is our altruism. We have the DNA within us that yearns to help one another. But over time our given traits are smoothed over by time and necessity. We can forget our roots and our true selves.

In our brains and in our souls, switches get toggled. We develop neural pathways and biases. We are influenced by peers and our desires are crowd sourced.

Selfishness takes over our selflessness.

We all came from Altruism. It is not really a physical place or a country or continent. It is more like a state—a state of consciousness. A state of being and acting.

There is a great out migration from Altruism. Perhaps a little like California, people like it a lot but it is so costly to live there.  And it’s mostly the wealthiest people who are leaving Altruism.

I meet so many former ex-pats from Altruism. People who have an expired Altruism passport and have left for an indeterminate time. Their return is uncertain.

They have left to do business, take care of their families, or just be hedonists. They needed to put themselves first. They have every intention to return after they are “successful”.

 “When I get rich, I will be generous” are the hollow words of a fugitive from Altruism.

Altruism is the action of reducing suffering, caring, and giving to others in need. It is the generous action that emerges from the passive feelings of sympathy, empathy and then compassion.

We are all the beneficiaries of someone’s else’s altruism.

I really believe that inside each of us is a very generous spirit.

But the indicators of our collective altruism are in great decline.

Many of our altruistic switches are being flipped off.

Researchers have detailed some dramatic declining trends in empathy, compassion, interpersonal trust, and altruism.

Certainly COVID, the economy, and world events have contributed to this. But these trends have been going on for many years.

Cynicism may be at all time highs, pushing the most privileged of us into our bubbles of selfishness.

Charitable giving is way down. Participation, meaning the number of people giving to religious and secular organizations is now about 2 out 5 Americans down from 2 out of 3.

Even with these reductions, research shows that the people in the lowest income census tracts are two to three times more generous as a percentage of their adjusted gross income. When you remove religious giving, you’re still talking about higher giving rates from the lowest income census tracts than the highest. Why is that?

Each year we have record charitable giving in this country. Which is right at $500B per year. The mega gifts are masking the large declines of generosity of the top 1% and every other income group.

But to be fair some of the uber wealthy are giving away a lot of funds—some with great impact, some with conditions and requirements that are more harmful than helpful.

More concerning to me is that volunteerism has fallen to all-time lows– to 1 out of 5 Americans.

Said another way, 60% of Americans do not give and 80% of Americans do not volunteer!

Why?

Inequity is taking its toll. Many more people fighting for their basic needs. They are understandably less altruistic. And more reason for altruism from the rest of us.

So called compassion fade is on the rise. —a diminishing sense of agency around our concern for others.
Continuous exposure to distressing news, images, or personal stories of suffering leads to emotional exhaustion and desensitization. Widespread humanitarian crises make us feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the problems. The sheer scale and complexity of these issues where our individual actions seem meaningless. And we always assume that someone else will intervene or help, leading to a diffusion of responsibility.

There is no peer pressure. Giving and volunteering are not what our circles of friends do.

My experiences are almost exclusively with people in the top 5%, and most in the top 1%. So these are people with the means and the time to be altruistic.

Everyone thinks they are altruists.

The external hurricane forces the centrigugal forces of selfishness inward and we get stuck in the “I” of the storm. While altruism is innate our ego and self preservation is stronger. The bottom line is we deny our natural instinct to give.

Inaction belies our beliefs.

Altruism is a lifestyle and part of life. Not a hobby or something we do once in a while. We give time, resources, and our moral support continuously.

Look, I know that caring for one another takes many forms. And that making charitable donations and giving time officially as a volunteer are rough and partial barometric readings on the altruistic weather.

But the conversations I am having with young people, retired folks, board members of non-profits, philanthropists, financial advisors, and non-profit leaders—all of whom have the means to be more altruistic—there is a steady decline in altruism.

Most of you may be the exception to this. 

Most of you know that a lifestyle of giving time and resources to others in need is energizing. It puts you with other like minded people you would not normally work with or even know.

It puts you in greater proximity to the worlds and real lives of others that you can’t possibly understand from afar. And as Bryan Stevenson preaches, that proximity will make you uncomfortable and alter that story in your head about those worlds and those lives. And you gain hope and insight into our challenges and our connection to one another.

When we help we see weakness
When we fix we see brokenness
When we are altruistic we see connectedness

Altruism is not a place we visit or dream about visiting. It certainly is not a state of mind or good intentions. It is about actions. What we do and are doing.

This is not a woke thing. It is an awakening thing. What do you care about to give your time and money?

Sorry if the shrapnel from this guilt bomb hits close to home. But these trends will impact us all.

I wish I had all the answers. All I know is we need to help lead more people to return to Altruism.

As fundraisers and friendraisers, it requires new ways of engaging people to give their time, talent, and treasure. It is not emails and text messages. It is not a video game.

We need to talk to people and listen. Invite them and literally take them with us. It is time consuming and incredibly rewarding.

These dosages of service, self-awareness, gratitude and empathy will flip the switch.  

Yes, I am pushing all of us to reconnect with Altruism, with the altruist within us. To act on our compassion. To share our privilege, our under-utilized capacities, and yes give more money.

Altruists help as they can with what they have, and where they are.

No gift of time and resources is too small. I have witnessed the impact that “small” can make.

To be shinier exemplars of altruism so others will follow.

To help others find their switch. To lead and engage people even though some will think you are crazy, annoying, or both!

To not wait for a better time. There is no better time but now.